One Last Gift
On October 2, 2016 a beautiful fall weekend Marlene JoAnne Kirchoff Perenz left her earthly existence.
In doing right by Mom we were caring for her at home. An important request she made most of her adult life. As it turned out she gave us a great gift and honor, she taught us one last life lesson.
Her daughters Susan and Paula, and granddaughter Kristin gathered around her, pulled out boxes and boxes of letters, photographs, notes, cards and important documents. Things that in a busy world gets pushed aside. She had them all.
She created amazing photo albums with hand written stories, chronicling our family. Touching anecdotes, cute and silly memories. Things that make a family, well, a family!
We were taken back through the years, reintroduced to our heritage. To the important things, in which life is truly made of.
We spent the whole day with her and our family from years gone by all because she was the keeper of stories, the maker of our world. We laughed and cried, loved and held tight and when the time came, let her go.
She was born September 16, 1938 to Frank and Jearldine Kirchoff. Her parents were the beloved, strong willed, spoiled, youngest of their families which made their life interesting.
One of the first places they settled was Saint Paul, Minnesota. On a acre of land given to them by Grandpa Gus, there her Mother's dream house was built. They lived by family and friends. It was the three of them until January 1947 when her brother Lenny was born.
Easy street stretched out before them until the summer of 1947 when, due to her Father's health the family was forced to sell their house and drive off into the unknown.
Arriving in Colorado Springs the budding family found themselves in a post war town where jobs were scarce. The moved from house to house, town to town. They moved eleven times in four years to be exact. This sparked a wandering spirit in her Mother that never went away.
Moving became normal, being the new kid in town Mom turned to books to fill the space. She made new friends quickly, but finding the library was the first thing she did. How she loved the rows and rows of books, even the architecture of the buildings were a treat! Through books she traveled the world and experienced many adventures. She found security in books, marveled at the stories and became book smart beyond belief.
Her cousin Ronnie visited every summer. They biked, hiked, explored, put on puppet shows, went sightseeing, plus they went to the movies. In one month alone they saw thirty two of them! It was a time in her life that held such meaning it was not only etched in her heart but ours as well from the rich stories she told.
Her Jr. and High School years were spent in Southern California. Her best friend Carol turned out to be a lifelong friend, and one of the last people to visit. They were able to celebrate their upcoming birthdays which were only one day apart.
She met Frank Perenz at a German Dance in 1955. Their first date was on Thanksgiving Eve. Frank went into the Navy in January 1956.
While he was gone another lifelong bond was forged with her soon to be sister in law Ericka. Frank came home on leave and they married in September 1957 and moved into a one bedroom apartment in Hollywood. Ericka stayed with them for a few months, sleeping on the couch. The apartment may have been small but times were great. Friends, potlucks, card games... Life!
A house was bought, and in 1960 their first daughter Susan was born. Followed in 1963 by a second daughter, Paula.
In 1965 the sold their first home for $12,900.00 which they used to buy an acre of land in Corona. Mom designed a three bedroom house and they had it built. The mini farm included horses, goats, chickens and even a cow named star.
There were fun times, learning and subjects for debating, Holidays celebrated, home cooked meals prepared, gardens grown, jobs worked, children raised.
Mom had a knack and hunger to learn. She taught her daughters to be strong willed, intelligent, question authority, be faithful and to stand up and fight for what's right. She held herself and us to a higher standard.
A job transfer took us to Utah, living for a time in Layton and Sunset then buying a house in Roy. The year was 1972, which would explain the red and black shag carpet and bright red front door. She not only decorated each house, she decorated our lives.
She had many jobs but worked mainly in the medical field as a receptionist. Keeping those Doctors in line and on time was something she did flawlessly. While at one of these jobs she once again made forever friends, Jan and Ron Sager, and Sandy Locher. She treasured them.
Her only grandchild Kristin was born in 1982. To her she gave the gift of time, council and unconditional love. She instilled in her lessons that will be passed down, patience, strength, knowledge, equality... This list can never be complete, for there are things so tucked away, waiting for just the right time in life to gently pull on the small piece of ribbon that secures it for use at just the right moment.
Mom divorced and moved from Roy to South Ogden. Her beloved Father passed away in 1997. She lovingly cared for her Mother until her passing in 2002.
Her clan grew when Kristin married Brian Gregoire. She shared with Brian a love of theatre. He cherished her wisdom and once referred to her as the Matriarch of the Family and she beamed!
Before the internet, and even after, we had Mom. We called her all the time with questions and she always had the answers!
Wanting to be close the her family she moved one final time to Kalispell, Montana. She volunteered at The Museum at Central School.
Then came the loves of her life, her great grand children, Camerin and Asha. She was their Nana M. Camerin had such a tender way with her and Asha adored her.
Mom was grace, poise and strength. She fought for equality and family. She was books and studying, drives in neighborhoods to look at houses and chocolate sodas. She was libraries, hours of discussion and debating. She loved touring cemeteries. Made incredible home cooked meals and grew amazing gardens. She was comfort, knitted blankets, watercolor paintings, crossword puzzles, and Jeopardy. She was the shelves and shelves of books in every house we lived in. She will always be our world.
Mom did a beautiful job at this thing called life and in the end reminded us to let go of pettiness and embrace what is real. To notice the precious moments, wrap them gently, remember them often. Choose to seek and see things that are wonderful.
She was adored and is deeply missed now and forever. Mom, Brian will save you a seat at the Tonys!
Good night T-hearts.
She is survived by daughters Susan Julian and Paula Perenz, granddaughter Kristin and Brian Gregoire, great grandchildren Camerin Gregoire and Asha Gregoire.
brother Lenny Kirchoff, nephew Robert Kirchoff.